No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
