U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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