This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
