My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
