You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
