I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
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I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
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I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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