Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
