okay pat passed out under dana's car
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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