Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
