they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
well most of my day revolves around power hour
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
