White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Randomize
