i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
