Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
