It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
