god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
