"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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