Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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