I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
