I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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