I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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