It's Friday. Sex?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
