eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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