It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
