ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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