I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize