Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
