she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
