Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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