Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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