She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
