we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Two words: nipple clamps
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