My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
