I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
