Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
