i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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