Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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