He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
