I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Everclear isn't food dammit
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize