I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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