I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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