I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
