Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
then he tried to convert me to islam
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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