I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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