No, drunk sperm still make babies.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
