I wish I could punch you in the face.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
