just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
