the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
