Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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