C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
