she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
