I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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