all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
