hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
