I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
