I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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